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Bullying! How to deal with bullies…

July 26, 2013

It’s nearly school time again, and there are probably some young people out there stressing about facing bullies again. Bullying is “unwanted and unwarranted behaviour that a person finds offensive, intimidating or humiliating and is repeated so as to have a detrimental effect upon a person’s dignity, safety, and well-being.”

bullyingThis is a problem that can occur at any time of life of course, anywhere –  in the home, workplace or online. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between bullying and a personality clash which is “when two (or more) people find themselves in conflict not over a particular issue or incident, but due to a fundamental incompatibility in their personalities, their approaches to things, their lifestyle”.

The library holds many resources that can help you cope with bullying.  See our books about bullying (non-fiction) here.  We also have some fiction books about bullying, which is a good way for children to find out about the problem and what to do. Look under non-fiction in 371.58 (discipline problems) or 302.3 (social interaction) when you’re in the library.

There are also self-help books that may help bullies overcome their own issues, such as anger. Some pyschologists say a bully often feels threatened in their own environment, and bullying puts more perceived control back into their life.

Some useful websites:

Stop bullying – how to respond to bullies, stop bullying and cyber-bullying

Kickbully – your guide to workplace bullies

The pulse/Te auaha – your rights, lots of links to bullying help

Most importantly, if you are being bullied, don’t suffer in silence. Talk to someone – a friend, relative, teacher, counsellor, or ring a helpline (NZ Child Helpline 0800 3666 94). It’s an awful experience, but it will eventually pass…never, ever, give up.  Don’t give that bully the satisfaction!

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